Resuming My Life

Well, I figure that today (May 7) is about as good as a day I'm ever going to find to start one of these things. Blogs weren't very popular before I left on my mission, not that I remember anyways, so I've been somewhat wary of them since they were suddenly everywhere when I got back from Japan. It just didn't seem like something I'd be interested in doing, or something anyone would particularly want to read. But I found that I enjoyed reading other people's blogs and getting to know more about them. It's interesting how much you can learn about a person by their writing.

Anyways, as I was saying, today is probably as good as a day as I'm going to get to start something. It has been one of the happiest days I've had in my life, and I had some wonderful days in Japan. But those days were good because something great happened. Today is different, because I have finally gotten my life back.

As those who know me undoubtably know, I was diagnosed with a form of bone cancer within a few weeks of returning home from Japan. I had originally planned to stay here with my parents in West Virginia for about 2 weeks, then fly out to Utah to go back to school at Brigham Young University. I was excited to go and learn, to get the normal social life I never quite achieved that was based on something besides Nintendo and to hopefully find a girl upon whom I could focus my affection. Instead, I was delayed and thrown into 9 months of torturous therapy and surgery that would hopefully save my life and arm. I generally tried not to talk about it because talking about it didn't help anything, but chemotherapy is literally a poison that only cures cancer because it kills it along with so many other cells in the body. It's like buring a forest to the ground just to eliminate the poison ivy that is in there. And the surgery to replace about 5 or 6 inches of bone in my left arm began the worst, most painful week of my life. I suffered greatly, during that time, and the Thanksgiving when my parents finally took my sister to Disney and I ended up having to stay in the hospital for a week because of a fever. While some may question my parents' decision to leave me while they went on a vacation with my sister, it was a good decision, the best they could have made at that time. I was well provided for and taken care of, and it allowed my parents to finally fulfill years of promise after having to disappoint her so many times because of other more dire family emergencies.

Finally, after 14 arduous cycles of chemotherapy, including at least 70 or 80 hours of travel to and from hospitals (not including trips to a local clinic for shots and blood tests that sometimes were done daily for weeks at a time) and a radical 6 hour surgery that consisted of more than one miracle to save my arm and movement in my hand, I finished my last treatment back in March. Following that were scans to check and double check that all traces of disease were gone and dead, but today was my last appointment with my oncologist, Dr. Palmer. It was a wonderful day. My mom, dad, sister and I drove out to the hospital in Morgantown an hour and a half away, first to meet with my doctor for the last time just to have a check up and get set to transfer to another doctor for my follow up. I cannot say enough how good a doctor Dr. Palmer was, and not just her, but many others. She often cheered me during my week long stays in the hospital with various treats and pasteries or other presents from stores nearby which helped because no one else was there to get me anything if the hospital food was particularly nasty that day. And when my appointment today was done, she and some of the others in that clinic surprised us with a celebratory cake (which was absolutely delicious, one of the best I've had). Following which, we went to eat a blooming onion and ribs at the Texas Roadhouse. Having lived in Texas for 5 years, my family has developed a fondness for the cuisine of that region. It was also note worthy because it was the nearly the same meal we shared to celebrate my leaving for Japan. During the car trip back, I simply studied my American Heritage class while listening to my favorite music I had missed terribly while I had focused my life on serving my God and fellow man. It was a small thing, but being able to study and listen to music was immensely satisfying and relaxing. All this further enforced the realization that I had finally beaten that horrible sarcoma that had delayed my life and hindered me for so long. I will return to college this summer as a 22 year old freshman, but simply being able to go live again and swallow without pain or get up without struggling every inch and live how I want to is the most liberating and encouraging though I can imagine. I am thankful for the things I learned and the strength to face opposition Heavenly Father was able to give me during this period of my life, but I have never been more relieved to move on than at this time. It will be challenging, of course, but without opposition to overcome and weaknesses to perfect and happiness to achieve, what's the point of living?

And then after getting home, still full from our dinner, I simply relaxed in my room, playing one of my favorite games online with friends I have never met, most of whom have no idea I've gone through any of this, yet their friendship unbiased with that knowledge has been a comfort for which I am thankful. I have a great many things to be thankful for; my family, the technology that makes being locked in a room bearable, and the Savior Jesus Christ who knows my pain and has given me more and greater comfort than any other. I know He knows my pain and understands it better than any other, because He experienced it and worse. I also know He and my family and friends love and care about me, though not all of them express it the same. And so I close this part of my life and eagerly strive to pick up my life with the same objectives I had before, only now I do so with a greater appreciation for my life and all the glorious things in it. I treasure my life because of the past that has made me into the man I am today, the future that holds so much hope and so many posibilities, and the present because I like what I have made of myself.